Birds, Sprains, and Go Karts

Jordan in the blue jacket and oversized helmet.
Logan & Jordan below.

The following is an excerpt from the family Christmas letter I sent out in 1997. Jordan and Logan were 8 1/2 and Lyndsi was 7 when this was written.:


"...Last year Santa's main gift to the boys was a go-kart. Their dad gave them helmets to wear when riding it, which of course is a good safety feature, but the helmets are about 1/3 the entire size of the boys. You should see them! They look like a cross between a Power Ranger and Marvin the Martian, but the purpose is served, I guess.

Their step-dad has been teaching the boys about hunting, shooting, and gun safety for over a year now. They each own a 410 at this point. (I hope that is correct. The other day I called it a "411" and I don't think I have ever witnessed such disgust.) The best way to describe how they feel about hunting is to say that they are "eat-up with it." Jordan was keeping a running tally of how many birds he had shot until dove season started this year. I haven't heard him quote a number since then, so I don't know if he is still keeping the tally or not.

Back in May I went for an Aerobic/Power Walk (i.e., walking as fast as you can, for as long as you can, swinging your arms like a wild woman) and twisted my ankle, causing a big goose egg to pop up on my left ankle. I had heard a rustling noise behind me and thought this dog that had tried to attack me about a month before was loose and after me again. Anyway, I heard a loud, "Pop!" and fell to the ground. Pretty painful. I was out of hollering range so, Power Walk abruptly halting, I had to try and get back home on my own, using my dog-weapon stick as a make-shift cane.

As soon as I got into hollering range I got Jordan (my #1 "9-1-1" man) to come after me in the go-kart. He spun around behind me, came to a screeching halt beside me, and told me to hop in. I guess he was pretending to be the Chief Ambulance Driver. I don't know. Anyway, on the way home, me grimacing as he hit every pot-hole, he proudly told me about killing bird #15 in one shot. Then, rocks flying, he breezed into the driveway while I hung on for dear life, my foot dangling, lifted as high as I can lift it into the air.

Out of the house came Lyndsi. While Jordan was giving me a lift, she had decided the bird wasn't dead, just unconscious. She had found the First Aid Kit and had wrapped the dead bird's wing in a bandage. She had also made a soft bed out of extra bandages for the dead bird's comfort. She talked to the bird about anything and everything, telling me that unconscious [people] can still hear and you should talk to them. The bird got regaled about how puffy Mom's foot was and what care we were taking with it. Every once in a while, she lifted the dead birds eyelid and asked if he could see her, that she could see him. I told her to get the dead bird out of the house, which ensued a disagreement on whether the bird was dead or not. Finally, I told her dead or not, I didn't want HIS mites in MY house.

The next morning Lyndsi got ready for school early so that she could go and get the dead bird out of the barn for a visit; Jordan asked if I still had a boiled egg on my left ankle. I made pit-stops all along the way to work to get an ACE bandage and Grand Paul's walking cane. The doctor finally saw me that afternoon and decided my ankle wasn't broken, just badly sprained. I had to pay extravagantly for a lovely lime green and white air brace that I wore for a few weeks. My ankle, 7 months later, is still giving me problems. The bird was finally buried, dug-up, buried, dug-up, and buried by the end of May. Logan officiating at all burials."

Life-long Friends

Jenny Gibson & Kerry Short
Two separate trips to Six Flags in Atlanta, GA

-----Original Message-----

From: Mitchell, Kerry

Sent: Friday, July 22, 2011 2:04 PM

To: Northridge, Jenny Mrs
Subject: Re: (UNCLASSIFIED)

You guys have a good weekend, too! Steve, Holden and I are headed to Helen, GA now. We're going kayaking tomorrow. Woot!


-----Original Message-----
From: Northridge, Jenny Mrs
Sent: Friday, July 22, 2011 3:22 PM
To: Mitchell, Kerry
Subject: RE: (UNCLASSIFIED)

Kayaking?! I love it! Are you sure your husband knows you are anti-anything to do with athletics?

Have a great time! Come back in one piece!

-----Original Message-----

From: Northridge, Jenny Mrs
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 10:12 AM
To: Mitchell, Kerry
Subject: (UNCLASSIFIED)

Did you survive? Just checking in to be sure...I don't want to have to look for another roommate. I'm getting too old for anything like that!

Rose


-----Original Message-----
From: Mitchell, Kerry
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 10:22 AM
To: 'Northridge, Jenny Mrs'
Subject: RE: (UNCLASSIFIED)

Lord! (<-- Pronounced, "Lowered!") I think I might have had him fooled but then I went and had myself a meltdown. Right there in the middle of the Chattahoochee River. It was the first time Steve had witnessed me and a meltdown. And we were only 1/4 of the way down our 3.5 hour "ride." Did you know there's no quitting? You can't just pull over and cancel your plans to kayak down river? ;o)

I don't know why I reacted that way. We kayaked the same stretch 3 years ago. We've canoed 2 other times (one of which was - you guessed it - the same stretch of river); we've been white water rafting on the Ocoee 3 times.

I decided it boiled down to three very important, overlooked things:

1.) The more you do stuff like that, the more you realize all the things that can go wrong. You can crack your skull on a rock. You can break your ankle. You can drown, for God's sake!
2.) I don't really "do" water.
3.) I'm due to start my period this week. Hormones, anyone?

It wasn't pretty. But yes, I lived through it. Begrudgingly.

Blanche

25 Random Things About Me (Written: 01/30/09)

Kerry
June 22, 2011

This was taken from a game that was passed around Facebook back in 2009:

1. I am left handed and I think it explains why I think so differently from everyone else. (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it, anyway.) ;o)

2. I had to have 2 math credits and 1 science credit (or vice versa) in order to graduate high school way back in 1984 so I took Math 9 and Biology 1 my freshman year and Algebra 1 my sophomore year. By Christmas I had a “D” in Algebra and was totally lost so I dropped the class. My junior year I took Algebra 1 again. Again, by Christmas I had a “D” and was totally lost so I dropped the class. Those two first semesters equaled a full credit, though, and THAT’S how I graduated high school. (Sad. I know. And somehow my boys are both math geniuses...)

3. I was crazy about my grandparents growing up - mother’s mother, “Memow,” and Dad’s parent’s, “Paw” and “Granny.” As much as I miss them all, I think of Paw most every day and will still tear up if I allow myself to think of him too much. He died 33 years ago. He was 62; I was almost 10.

4. Paw was bed-ridden with rheumatoid arthritis by the time I was 7 years old but he continued to smoke a pack or more of Winston’s each day. I remember crawling up in bed to ly beside him, placing a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it, and flicking his ashes in the ash tray for him while we watched “All in the Family” and “The Jefferson’s” on a black and white T.V. It’s a wonder I didn’t burn the house down around us.

5. I remember Granny saying that she was more a funeral person than a wedding person. And now I get it. I’m the same way. I am much more likely to offer my support to my grieving family, friends and neighbors when someone they loved has passed away than to attend happy weddings.

6. I think my brother, Wade, and I had idyllic childhoods. We had ponies and puppies and kittens and rabbits and we roamed the woods to our hearts content. Stick guns were always better than toy guns, too, because they could be machine guns or shotguns or whatever you wanted them to be. (Imagination was the name of the game back then.)

7. Back in the day we didn’t have garbage pick up, so my mother burned our garbage in a large metal drum in the backyard. One summer day when she had a fire going, Wade took a wire coat hanger and shaped the end into a western “W.” The boy absolutely intended to brand my butt! The only thing that saved me was when he realized the “W” would be a dead giveaway. (Like anyone else would have done it.)

8. I have three very beautiful, very intelligent, very considerate children. They are just as different from one another as they are alike, but I couldn’t be more proud of each one of them. And the best part is that they love and look out for one another!

9. I went from having no children to having three children in a 19 month period of time. And they could have passed as triplets most of their lives.

10. I HATE to shop, whether it’s for clothing, groceries, whatever. I have to know what I need and where I can find it before I will leave the house so that the experience will be as quick and painless as possible. This doesn’t mesh with my daughter who LOVES to shop.

11. I am a list maker. I love making lists for any reason. My children give me a lot of grief about this - especially the Saturday chore list - but it gives me a great sense of accomplishment to be able to mark things off. Done!

12. I dust my house MAYBE once a year. If you’re lucky. This I blame on my mother. (Sorry Mom!) When she went to work outside our home when I was in junior high school, she left a chore list almost every day for me and Wade to do when we got home from school. I always got to dust - probably because Wade would not. And if it wasn’t as good a job as she thought it should have been, I would have to dust again the following day. There were times I dusted 3 days in a row. Have you BEEN to my mother’s house? Have you SEEN her knickknack collection? (Sorry Mom!)

13. Because of the experiences described in #12 I have a very minimalistic approach to decorating my home.

14. I have enjoyed 4 cruises so far in my lifetime. Three were to the Bahamas (Freeport and Nassau) and one to the Gulf of Mexico (Cozumel and Costa Maya.) If you ever want to take a cruise (totally worth every penny) try the Royal Caribbean line.

15. Steve took me to Sedona, AZ for a long weekend in 2007. We stayed in the Amara Resort & Spa where we enjoyed a couples massage; we took a helicopter tour, then a Jeep tour; and we spent a Saturday driving up and enjoying the sights at the Grand Canyon. Best trip EVER. Everybody should see Sedona and the Grand Canyon. Gorgeous.

16. I have been married and divorced 3 times, which is a huge disappointment to me. My life’s ambition was to be a wife and mother. And it has provided something else my children love to give me grief about: “Kerry L**** S**** M******* A**** S**** E*****.” Ick!!!!!

17. I work because I have to. I am a home body at heart and would love to stay home and piddle around my house and yard.

18. I don’t want a huge house. I have lived in a 3,500 sq. ft. home and rarely had time to play because it always needed cleaning. I am much, much happier in my tiny, cozy home.

19. I love cats much more than dogs, although that doesn’t mean I don’t love dogs, too! I have a 9 year old blind dog now that can’t smell and has selective hearing. And I bought him a seeing eye cat to play with. They are very entertaining!

20. I love to ride my bicycles.

21. I love riding roller coasters.

22. Daddy always wanted Wade and me to sing with him in a gospel quartet. We were raised around the piano, learning our parts. And I have sang with them for years, in front of as little as 10 people and as many as 600 people. But singing in front of people other than family is not something I enjoy. I am not that good and I always feel like they’re being forced to listen, against their will.

23. I always wished I were a published author. I dream of writing novels as skillful and as heart warming as Nicholas Sparks.

24. I believe that happiness is a choice and that humor is the cure to most of life’s bad situations.

25. I may be almost 43 on the outside, but I am 16 and full of mischief on the inside.