Freudian Slip



(Internet Photo)

For years I have had a secret fear of ending a business telephone call with, "Ok.  Love you!" [click]  And then sitting at my desk in total mortification.  Especially when talking to one of the attorneys I work with.  I am so used to ending the majority of my phone calls in this manner.  Mainly because the majority of my phone calls are with a member of my family.  My husband.  My child.  My mother...

And then today happened.

Today my boss and I were taken out to lunch by two representatives of an insurance brokerage our University uses.  The two ladies drove up from Birmingham, on the most miserable day I can remember in months, just for the sake of customer relations.  We are their client.  They want us to be familiar with them.  They want us to be comfortable with them.  They want us to turn to them when we need answers to questions that they can assist with.

During conversation I asked my boss a question to which he responded, "What was that, Honey?"

I kept a straight face.  I didn't react.  I repeated my question.  Conversation never lagged.  And I bet the two ladies returned to Birmingham wondering just what was going on in the Huntsville office?  ;o)

Birds, Sprains, and Go Karts

Jordan in the blue jacket and oversized helmet.
Logan & Jordan below.

The following is an excerpt from the family Christmas letter I sent out in 1997. Jordan and Logan were 8 1/2 and Lyndsi was 7 when this was written.:


"...Last year Santa's main gift to the boys was a go-kart. Their dad gave them helmets to wear when riding it, which of course is a good safety feature, but the helmets are about 1/3 the entire size of the boys. You should see them! They look like a cross between a Power Ranger and Marvin the Martian, but the purpose is served, I guess.

Their step-dad has been teaching the boys about hunting, shooting, and gun safety for over a year now. They each own a 410 at this point. (I hope that is correct. The other day I called it a "411" and I don't think I have ever witnessed such disgust.) The best way to describe how they feel about hunting is to say that they are "eat-up with it." Jordan was keeping a running tally of how many birds he had shot until dove season started this year. I haven't heard him quote a number since then, so I don't know if he is still keeping the tally or not.

Back in May I went for an Aerobic/Power Walk (i.e., walking as fast as you can, for as long as you can, swinging your arms like a wild woman) and twisted my ankle, causing a big goose egg to pop up on my left ankle. I had heard a rustling noise behind me and thought this dog that had tried to attack me about a month before was loose and after me again. Anyway, I heard a loud, "Pop!" and fell to the ground. Pretty painful. I was out of hollering range so, Power Walk abruptly halting, I had to try and get back home on my own, using my dog-weapon stick as a make-shift cane.

As soon as I got into hollering range I got Jordan (my #1 "9-1-1" man) to come after me in the go-kart. He spun around behind me, came to a screeching halt beside me, and told me to hop in. I guess he was pretending to be the Chief Ambulance Driver. I don't know. Anyway, on the way home, me grimacing as he hit every pot-hole, he proudly told me about killing bird #15 in one shot. Then, rocks flying, he breezed into the driveway while I hung on for dear life, my foot dangling, lifted as high as I can lift it into the air.

Out of the house came Lyndsi. While Jordan was giving me a lift, she had decided the bird wasn't dead, just unconscious. She had found the First Aid Kit and had wrapped the dead bird's wing in a bandage. She had also made a soft bed out of extra bandages for the dead bird's comfort. She talked to the bird about anything and everything, telling me that unconscious [people] can still hear and you should talk to them. The bird got regaled about how puffy Mom's foot was and what care we were taking with it. Every once in a while, she lifted the dead birds eyelid and asked if he could see her, that she could see him. I told her to get the dead bird out of the house, which ensued a disagreement on whether the bird was dead or not. Finally, I told her dead or not, I didn't want HIS mites in MY house.

The next morning Lyndsi got ready for school early so that she could go and get the dead bird out of the barn for a visit; Jordan asked if I still had a boiled egg on my left ankle. I made pit-stops all along the way to work to get an ACE bandage and Grand Paul's walking cane. The doctor finally saw me that afternoon and decided my ankle wasn't broken, just badly sprained. I had to pay extravagantly for a lovely lime green and white air brace that I wore for a few weeks. My ankle, 7 months later, is still giving me problems. The bird was finally buried, dug-up, buried, dug-up, and buried by the end of May. Logan officiating at all burials."

Life-long Friends

Jenny Gibson & Kerry Short
Two separate trips to Six Flags in Atlanta, GA

-----Original Message-----

From: Mitchell, Kerry

Sent: Friday, July 22, 2011 2:04 PM

To: Northridge, Jenny Mrs
Subject: Re: (UNCLASSIFIED)

You guys have a good weekend, too! Steve, Holden and I are headed to Helen, GA now. We're going kayaking tomorrow. Woot!


-----Original Message-----
From: Northridge, Jenny Mrs
Sent: Friday, July 22, 2011 3:22 PM
To: Mitchell, Kerry
Subject: RE: (UNCLASSIFIED)

Kayaking?! I love it! Are you sure your husband knows you are anti-anything to do with athletics?

Have a great time! Come back in one piece!

-----Original Message-----

From: Northridge, Jenny Mrs
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 10:12 AM
To: Mitchell, Kerry
Subject: (UNCLASSIFIED)

Did you survive? Just checking in to be sure...I don't want to have to look for another roommate. I'm getting too old for anything like that!

Rose


-----Original Message-----
From: Mitchell, Kerry
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 10:22 AM
To: 'Northridge, Jenny Mrs'
Subject: RE: (UNCLASSIFIED)

Lord! (<-- Pronounced, "Lowered!") I think I might have had him fooled but then I went and had myself a meltdown. Right there in the middle of the Chattahoochee River. It was the first time Steve had witnessed me and a meltdown. And we were only 1/4 of the way down our 3.5 hour "ride." Did you know there's no quitting? You can't just pull over and cancel your plans to kayak down river? ;o)

I don't know why I reacted that way. We kayaked the same stretch 3 years ago. We've canoed 2 other times (one of which was - you guessed it - the same stretch of river); we've been white water rafting on the Ocoee 3 times.

I decided it boiled down to three very important, overlooked things:

1.) The more you do stuff like that, the more you realize all the things that can go wrong. You can crack your skull on a rock. You can break your ankle. You can drown, for God's sake!
2.) I don't really "do" water.
3.) I'm due to start my period this week. Hormones, anyone?

It wasn't pretty. But yes, I lived through it. Begrudgingly.

Blanche

25 Random Things About Me (Written: 01/30/09)

Kerry
June 22, 2011

This was taken from a game that was passed around Facebook back in 2009:

1. I am left handed and I think it explains why I think so differently from everyone else. (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it, anyway.) ;o)

2. I had to have 2 math credits and 1 science credit (or vice versa) in order to graduate high school way back in 1984 so I took Math 9 and Biology 1 my freshman year and Algebra 1 my sophomore year. By Christmas I had a “D” in Algebra and was totally lost so I dropped the class. My junior year I took Algebra 1 again. Again, by Christmas I had a “D” and was totally lost so I dropped the class. Those two first semesters equaled a full credit, though, and THAT’S how I graduated high school. (Sad. I know. And somehow my boys are both math geniuses...)

3. I was crazy about my grandparents growing up - mother’s mother, “Memow,” and Dad’s parent’s, “Paw” and “Granny.” As much as I miss them all, I think of Paw most every day and will still tear up if I allow myself to think of him too much. He died 33 years ago. He was 62; I was almost 10.

4. Paw was bed-ridden with rheumatoid arthritis by the time I was 7 years old but he continued to smoke a pack or more of Winston’s each day. I remember crawling up in bed to ly beside him, placing a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it, and flicking his ashes in the ash tray for him while we watched “All in the Family” and “The Jefferson’s” on a black and white T.V. It’s a wonder I didn’t burn the house down around us.

5. I remember Granny saying that she was more a funeral person than a wedding person. And now I get it. I’m the same way. I am much more likely to offer my support to my grieving family, friends and neighbors when someone they loved has passed away than to attend happy weddings.

6. I think my brother, Wade, and I had idyllic childhoods. We had ponies and puppies and kittens and rabbits and we roamed the woods to our hearts content. Stick guns were always better than toy guns, too, because they could be machine guns or shotguns or whatever you wanted them to be. (Imagination was the name of the game back then.)

7. Back in the day we didn’t have garbage pick up, so my mother burned our garbage in a large metal drum in the backyard. One summer day when she had a fire going, Wade took a wire coat hanger and shaped the end into a western “W.” The boy absolutely intended to brand my butt! The only thing that saved me was when he realized the “W” would be a dead giveaway. (Like anyone else would have done it.)

8. I have three very beautiful, very intelligent, very considerate children. They are just as different from one another as they are alike, but I couldn’t be more proud of each one of them. And the best part is that they love and look out for one another!

9. I went from having no children to having three children in a 19 month period of time. And they could have passed as triplets most of their lives.

10. I HATE to shop, whether it’s for clothing, groceries, whatever. I have to know what I need and where I can find it before I will leave the house so that the experience will be as quick and painless as possible. This doesn’t mesh with my daughter who LOVES to shop.

11. I am a list maker. I love making lists for any reason. My children give me a lot of grief about this - especially the Saturday chore list - but it gives me a great sense of accomplishment to be able to mark things off. Done!

12. I dust my house MAYBE once a year. If you’re lucky. This I blame on my mother. (Sorry Mom!) When she went to work outside our home when I was in junior high school, she left a chore list almost every day for me and Wade to do when we got home from school. I always got to dust - probably because Wade would not. And if it wasn’t as good a job as she thought it should have been, I would have to dust again the following day. There were times I dusted 3 days in a row. Have you BEEN to my mother’s house? Have you SEEN her knickknack collection? (Sorry Mom!)

13. Because of the experiences described in #12 I have a very minimalistic approach to decorating my home.

14. I have enjoyed 4 cruises so far in my lifetime. Three were to the Bahamas (Freeport and Nassau) and one to the Gulf of Mexico (Cozumel and Costa Maya.) If you ever want to take a cruise (totally worth every penny) try the Royal Caribbean line.

15. Steve took me to Sedona, AZ for a long weekend in 2007. We stayed in the Amara Resort & Spa where we enjoyed a couples massage; we took a helicopter tour, then a Jeep tour; and we spent a Saturday driving up and enjoying the sights at the Grand Canyon. Best trip EVER. Everybody should see Sedona and the Grand Canyon. Gorgeous.

16. I have been married and divorced 3 times, which is a huge disappointment to me. My life’s ambition was to be a wife and mother. And it has provided something else my children love to give me grief about: “Kerry L**** S**** M******* A**** S**** E*****.” Ick!!!!!

17. I work because I have to. I am a home body at heart and would love to stay home and piddle around my house and yard.

18. I don’t want a huge house. I have lived in a 3,500 sq. ft. home and rarely had time to play because it always needed cleaning. I am much, much happier in my tiny, cozy home.

19. I love cats much more than dogs, although that doesn’t mean I don’t love dogs, too! I have a 9 year old blind dog now that can’t smell and has selective hearing. And I bought him a seeing eye cat to play with. They are very entertaining!

20. I love to ride my bicycles.

21. I love riding roller coasters.

22. Daddy always wanted Wade and me to sing with him in a gospel quartet. We were raised around the piano, learning our parts. And I have sang with them for years, in front of as little as 10 people and as many as 600 people. But singing in front of people other than family is not something I enjoy. I am not that good and I always feel like they’re being forced to listen, against their will.

23. I always wished I were a published author. I dream of writing novels as skillful and as heart warming as Nicholas Sparks.

24. I believe that happiness is a choice and that humor is the cure to most of life’s bad situations.

25. I may be almost 43 on the outside, but I am 16 and full of mischief on the inside.

English 101

(Internet Photo)

Maybe it's because my mother corrected me all the time while growing up.

Maybe it's because I work for a perfectionist that loves the English language.

Maybe it's just because I'm a whiny bitch.

The fact is - I love email / texting / Twitter / Facebook, but it drives me NUTS when people use the wrong word.  For me, reading the wrong word in a sentence is very much like the sound of fingernails scratching across a blackboard.  It makes me cringe!  Maybe they were in too much of a hurry at the time and really know the difference.  That happens to me sometimes, which REALLY drives me nuts.  But when the mistake happens over and over and over again, I suspect some just don't know any better.  They made their way through school and no one cared enough to tell them that using the wrong word makes them appear... less than smart. 

Let's review a few words and their correct usage:


TO
I love to swim in the summer.

TOO
I have too much to do.

TWO
Susie has two kittens.

THERE
Let's go over there to sit.

THEY'RE
They're going to the beach.

THEIR
Do you want to know their secret?

WANT
I didn't want to go.

WON'T
She won't eat cake.

YOUR
Do you want the rest of your dessert?

YOU'RE
You're going to pay for that!

QUIT
He quit smoking.

QUITE
I'm not quite sure that is correct.

QUIET
Please be quiet while the baby is asleep.

THEN
If I knew then I would tell you.

THAN
I would be more than happy to help!

THEM
Don't talk to them!

WOMAN / MAN
That woman/man just sneezed.

WOMEN / MEN
Those women/men just left.

PAST
We just drove past your house.

PASSED
Judy passed away last night.

ONE

I want one cookie.

WON

They just won the game!

SEEN

Have you seen Betsy?

SAW

I saw Betsy on Tuesday.

NO

No, you can't have my drink.

KNOW

I don't know what to think!

ROAD

She is on the road to recovery.

RODE

Jerry rode his bicycle to work.

THREW

Casey threw the ball.

THROUGH

I hate that you had to go through all of that.

THRU

(This isn't actually a word but is informally acceptable instead of "through.")

BY

I need your response by tomorrow, please.

BUY

I would like to buy those earrings.

I know that my grammar isn't always correct, but I do think that using the correct word is important.

Union Grove First Baptist Church

Union Grove First Baptist Church
Union Grove, Alabama  35175

This week we are having Revival in my home church.  I was raised in this church.  I was saved in this church one night during another hot summer Revival years ago.  And from the choir loft, singing the old time hymns, I look out at my friends and neighbors and remember...

Granny used to sit in the section to my right.  She generally sat on about the third row, close to the outside wall.  I have her Bible now and her notes, penned all around the margins, help teach me still.

Merle and Louise Wilson used to sit on about the third row in the section to my left, next to the aisle.  Merle and Louise's son, Dean, married preacher P. E. Maples' daughter, Betty.  And Betty led the choir for years.  I remember many Easter services when she would sing, "The King is Coming."   

Farther back on the left, next to the outside wall, sat Albert and Loles Waldrop.  Mr. Waldrop was called upon to pray most services and we kids used to count how many times he would say, "Dear Heavenly Faaaaaaaather."  I wish I could hear him pray again.

Ann Stewart was Keith and Cindy's mother.  We kids thought she was overly strict back then, but I can tell you now that most of what I learned about the Bible came from her Sunday School classes.

My grandmother's Bible

David Smith was a tall, quiet man who sat on the left side, behind the Waldrop's.  He generally didn't have much to say, but very rarely did he miss a service.

Miss Camilla (Hughes) was our pianist.  She, Miss Louise (Wilson) and Miss Cleo (Couch) made up The Hughettes.  They were prim, proper ladies who held their handbags while they sang the Sunday morning special music.  It became a tradition for The Hughettes to sing, "Oh Beautiful Star of Bethlehem" during the Christmas season.

Many of the fine, Christian folks from our church family have passed away:  Polly Stanley; Jack and Mable Porch; Wanda Smith; Susan Willis; Nelson and Marjorie Williams; Gardner DeArmond; Clarence and Mary Ann Davis; Luther Gibbs; Lola King.  But these folks and many others are not forgotten.  They all helped to shape and mold many of us that carry on the church business today.  And sitting from the choir loft, peering out over the congregation, I can almost see them, sitting in their designated pews. 

We miss them.  And love them still.