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My Lord knows this. We have discussed my sins, my issues, over and over and over and over... I assume we’re discussing it. I have what amounts to my end of a conversation running through my mind. I believe that God hears my thoughts and that the conviction I sometimes feel, those tugs at my heart and my conscious, is when He is in disagreement. Does anyone else out there have a different mode of communication with our Lord? If you do, please clue me in.
I grew up in a Christian home. My mother and father formed and sang in a Southern Gospel quartet from as young as I can remember until I reached the age of about 12. My earliest memories include riding in the quartet van all over northern Alabama and listening to them perform, sometimes performing myself along with my older brother. I also remember begging and pleading to please get to stay with one or the other grandparents instead. Sometimes I won that plea; other times I did not. But the bulk of my childhood weekends were spent going to gospel concerts - “singings” as we called them back then - and to church. We were in church, in “a” church, somewhere, every Sunday morning. Most Sunday nights, as well. Sometimes there were Saturday night singings and our family went through phases attending Wednesday night services in our home church as all Christians seem to do.
I grew up with a good understanding of “right” and “wrong.” For the vast majority of my life I have had a strong spirituality, a strong trust and faith in God. I believe that God sent his son Jesus Christ to live among humanity knowing that He would have to die and be crucified in order to save us all from our sins so that we could enter into Heaven and live with Him throughout eternity. Then came religion, which just confuses everything.
You have those that believe drinking anything alcoholic is sinful, while you have others that feel wine is fine anytime of any day. You have those that feel you should have an infinitely formal Sunday morning church service, and you have others that feel infinitely casual is much more user friendly for the unchurched that we are all striving to reach. There are all sorts of beliefs out there stemming from one or the other interpretations of various scripture in the Bible, but in the end I believe that so long as you profess your faith in God it doesn’t really matter how you personally choose to worship Him.
Having said all this, you would think that I would have less sin in my past than I do. No one is or ever was or ever can be without sin, but I have never used that knowledge as “permission” to do the things I knew were wrong. Many seem to live by the creed, “It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission” but the very idea of that makes me cringe. I know the Commandments. I would like to say I have always lived by them, but there are too many past sins in my life to be able to make that claim. I have stumbled from time to time and have knowingly done things that I knew were wrong, but I also knew from the beginning that God was disappointed in me. I have experienced serious conviction until I relented and repented. And then I experienced serious peace.
Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. - Job 5:17.
People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy. - Proverbs 28:13.
And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. The whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem went out to him. Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River. - Mark 1:4-5.
For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. - Romans 10:9-10
