Introduction...

My husband, Steve Mitchell

This is the Yahoo Personals profile I used to catch Steve's attention:

I am newly single. Again. I have 18 y/o twin sons that start Auburn and UAB this fall and a 16 y/o daughter that will be a junior at Grissom. One dog - Casey Dog. He's a 7 y/o blind Shih Tzu. One cat - Sam. He's a 1 y/o seeing eye cat. :o) I will have been at my current job 12 years the end of August, so I guess I qualify as being loyal. I am emotionally and financially stable. I'm not looking for a husband, a sugar daddy, or a father for my children. (Hey! Did I just hear a sigh of relief???) :o) I just want a boyfriend. Someone who cares about me, enjoys spending time with me, as I care and enjoy them. A companion that is easy and fun to hang out with. Someone who enjoys the simple pleasures in life as I do. I am told that I am loads of fun and that my laughter is contagious. I laugh a lot. I also try to be courteous, considerate and thoughtful and would like my friends to be the same. I am honest. I don't have time for games and hope my friends don't either. I LOVE roller coasters, white water rafting and live concerts. Call me a woman, but I want ROMANCE. Intimate dinners for two. Snuggle time on the couch, laughing at Two and a Half Men. Opening my door to a bouquet of flowers fresh from the side of the road. Or the Publix flower shop. Finding sweet notes written on the insides of gum wrappers and left for me to find under my windshield wiper at work. Weekend get aways to Nashville or Atlanta or anywhere else we wish to go. Vacations together at the beach or in the mountains. Someone to ride bikes with, hike with, go to movies with, kiss and cuddle with. Nothing super serious, just fun!

I had been on the personals site for a few weeks and found no one there that seemed right for me. Then one Friday night in July the kids were gone, doing what teenagers do, and I was surfing, killing time. I decided to expand my search area from "within 25 miles" of my home to "within 60 miles." And there was Steve. I sent him a Yahoo created ice breaker - "I like your profile! Tell me more." He responded within a few short minutes. We corresponded back-and-forth several times that night and more the following day. By that afternoon he decided to drive to Huntsville from Florence so that we could meet.

We met at Starbuck's at 9:00 p.m. Conversation flowed. We had so much in common. Not the least of which was understanding and The Divorce Diet. I became aware at one point of an elderly lady sitting alone behind Steve. She was eating her muffin, drinking her coffee, and smiling sweetly to herself as she listened in to our conversation.

It was a wonderful night. Steve and I connected like long, lost friends. He is kind, considerate, handsome, interesting, funny, FUN, light-hearted, passionate, compassionate, thoughtful, generous, and every other good adjective known to man.

We were inseparable from that moment on, spending as much time together as possible; filling the hours between with long conversations on the phone. Waitresses began asking how long we had been together, commenting on how made-for-each-other we appeared to be.

We married almost 2 years from the day we met. And I love Steve more than I ever believed possible.

2007 (Written: 12/16/07)

Jordan, Lyndsi & Logan Matthews
December 24, 2008

I sit and listen to the sounds of teenagers, laughing and having fun. My sons are home from college for the Christmas holidays and my home is more full than usual. Tonight there are eight teenagers of various ages lounging around my living room. Two belong to me; one I've never seen before. I look around and see shoes and Mtn Dew bottles and empty plates lying around in every room and I am full of satisfaction. I feel content and happy and complete. More so than I ever remember feeling before...

2007 was a rough year. It began this time last year. My beloved step-father had been diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer and after having fought the disease for 18 months, the family knew last year would be his last Christmas here with us. Christmas Eve was an odd mix of laughter and tears as the family divided into two groups to play games, then came together as one while Grand Paul told us how much he loved us and, virtually, goodbye.

In early January, he was unexpectedly admitted to the hospital never to come home again. My mother rarely left his side. I spent my January working 40 hours/week, running by the hospital most every day to try and take care of my mother and Grand Paul as best I could, then returning home physically and emotionally exhausted to try and spend time with and take care of my family. Ten days before my step-father passed away, my husband told me he wanted a divorce. The argument initially was over the fact that I had stopped by the hospital - again - rather than coming home to cook dinner - again, but the fight was merely a culmination of other perceived "wrongs" my husband had grown to resent me for. He should never have married me in the first place. I was exactly NOT what he wanted. And no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I wanted to, I could never heal his deep emotional wounds. I could never cure his deep-seated depression. And eventually I was blamed for everything wrong in his life.

A few days after the initial fight my husband reiterated that he wanted a divorce by leaving a list of what he wanted out of life in my recliner. The list did not include a wife. Or children. He wanted financial freedom. He wanted to be alone, free to come and go and do whatever he pleased, and not be responsible for providing for anyone other than himself and his own needs.

I helped Mother bury Grand Paul on January 29. My husband moved out of our home on February 9. Because he would not pay the legal fees involved, I typed my own divorce papers and met him at the courthouse to file them on March 2. The divorce was final April 2. And two of my three children graduated high school May 25.

Then life began to turn around...

In May the footing to my new home was dug. I had chosen the house plan, the lot, the brick, mortar, shingles, countertops, cabinets, flooring, and paint colors...

July 7 I met Steve.

On August 4 my daughter and I moved into our new home.

And on August 10 I rented a Uhaul box truck, packed up the boys, and took them to college.

* * * * *

EPILOGUE:  The ex re-married 2.5 years after our divorce and at age 55 his 32 year old wife gave birth to a brand new baby girl.  I hope his new wife is happy; she deserves to be.  I also hope that he can finally be the husband and the father that he should have been all along.